2022-10-12
I try not to have meaningless flings/hook-ups/make-outs. Not because of a moral high ground. But because brain chemistry:
If I get intimate with someone without romantic attachment, it is essentially instant gratification - not free dopamine, but my social value has increased enough in school for it to not be difficult. In fact, I now have to reject such offers. This is something I only dreamed of a year ago.
Access to an easy dopamine source would make it and does make it more difficult for me to do harder things thanks to the hedonic treadmill. I don’t want that because I may devolve to more of a degenerate lifestyle than I’d like.
Why no degeneracy? All of this comes back to my ambitions and dreams - they require hard work and focus - no distractions. I am staying away so I don’t open Pandora’s box, so to speak. Resisting a FWB, not booty calling them requires will power. fear that will power to resist would rise if I engage once - It is easier to form an identity of “I don’t hook up or engage in flings” that way, and Atomic Habits has enlightened all of us to how easy actions are when they are in line with your identity.
This also ties in with the concept of second-order consequences. Fucking once will make it more likely for me to do it again.