2023-09-13
I went to the AA place in Frankton after breakfast to start my license overseas conversion. I reached only to find that I’ve forgotten my passport. Fortunately, I was assigned am appointment 2 hours from then, in which I went back home and got my passport, and went to KiwiBank Frankton to get my EFTPOS card. Here everyone applies a 2% surcharge on Visa debit cards for IRL transactions, so most use EFTPOS for that. Debit cards are mostly meant for online transaction here. After that I got a $33 mouthguard from doctor shock gel max from Rebel Sports.
I went to The Warehouse (yes, that’s a brand, like DMart) to get sewing kit. Immediate confusion. I called my mom and grandma, but they did not pick up. I assumed they were sleeping. I heard Gujarati behind me. I asked if they were Indian, and they said yes, and I asked them to make my purchasing decision. They said to buy the small BS kit, I asked if those thin needles would break.
On further thought, I was asked to buy threads and needles separately, for more quality, and that is all I need really. I will sew my MTB shorts and gloves tomorrow.
I reached back home late, so rescheduled neck brace stuff for later in the day which I got late for, again.
I cooked, ate and did garbage stuff together. Time saving 100.
But my fridge was a mess, and after cleaning it for 30 mins, I decided to finish it after my ride. I gave the Neck Brace back to the owner, did one run of Wynyard DH, during which I made so many mistakes, and rode so shit. I thought about giving up because I’m so far behind. And then I thought ‘and do what?’. I reminded myself to shut the fuck and accumulate volume. I was thinking about this on the climb to the trail:
How long did you chase Roof?
4 years.
How long you’ve been riding in QT?
2 months.
Is this how easily you give up? You can chase her for half a decade, but not your purpose for even half that time?
And that was the end of that.
I went to my friend to collect the neck brace, where I got lost for a bit, and showed up late again, but he was cool with it. He gave my the neck brace. More importantly: When I came near his house, He was standing near the door. “Cool garage” I thought.
Upon entering, I realised its his house. And few lights were on. It was small. Messy. His bike room was a mess as well, but his bikes were by far the most expensive things he owned. But his living arrangement was shit. There was little space, all of his house was filled. He was living with his SO. It was small. Cramped. Dull. Monochrome. Sofas and prams take up all of the hall. 3 bikes and accessories take up all of the storage. It felt hollow as I stood on the flooring.
That showed my what my state would be if I did not send it. If I did not give it my all. If I do not sacrifice everything. Becuase the current vehicle I am in, a employee at a tourist organisation, not much leverage. Shit pay, in the grand scheme of things, if I am not a bachelor. Actually, even as a bachelor.
That visual is so powerful because I thought of meeting my woman 10 years down the line. Inviting her into this house. The shame.
“What about going pro?”
“I stopped.”
“Why?”
…
“It was too difficult.”
Fuck that bro.
I always thought that it does not take much to satisfy me, that I am not a materialist. I now realise that is because my bar for materialism is high. I was brought up in a bungalow, in Mumbai. I had a backyard AND a porch, in a city where the lack of balconies is memed. I am materialistic. I am just okay not having stuff while on the climb up. But if I am old enough to have a wife, a kids? You best believe they well have the best things and comforts so 100% can go into their purpose. I have always thought of 30, 40 year old Ilyaas as rich. Never poor.
This gave me something to run away from, as Jordan Peterson would say. An anti-vision as Dan Koe would say.
That if I do not suck myself dry, that is where I’ll end up. That if I do not revere the pain, that is where I’ll be. That if I run from discomfort, I will murdered into mediocrity. By my own self.
It is similar to my dating scene - not now, I am on the climb up. But when I have climbed, when I have leverage, my ideal iteration of me, has his wife, that is part of his unit. Not having that now is A-OK. I don’t have space for that, but eventually, I will.
It is so powerful because that dull version of a house was never in my imagination. Even the slums in India, the chawls were brightly lit and coloured.
I thought about this the whole way up the climb, and it why I did not stop at 1 run, despite a lot of climbing to both deliver and pickup neck braces.
This was my story worthy moment from today.
The second run was much better. It gave me confidence. “This is just a volume game.” I told myself. This was also a story worthy moment.
After coming back, I saw my Strava time and realised that I had shaved a whole minute off my 5:41 run yesterday.
It is now 4:51 I believe. This was mainly due to watching my first run for mistakes and better times.
Also, I can climb now. I did roughly 500m of vertical :) The 50 tooth dinner plate in the back is great. Mastering mountain bike skills is great.
Tomorrow, I will session sections along with dialling braking points, then full runs.
My friends neck brace is much better for neck movement, but still limiting. It gives me faith that an appropriately sized neck brace will be even better.
I was unable to edit today, but I’ll do kal.
I’ll publish this and then sleep. Bye now.
This is what kal looks like:
I will likely move to substack for ease of use and better discoverability.
PS. search for suspension model recommended settings and follow that. I did that post ride today.
I am grateful for hamza, my mother and seth bike hacks