2022-12-18
“I am going to be working all day. You can work next to me if you want.”
Both were interested. Effortless to speak to each other.
2nd message to get off bumble and get on call. “We should get off the app. We should get on the phone.”
Eat over the sink. Same utensils. One wipe. Repeat for next meal.
I’m either the predator or the prey.
Leila never tried to change me. Don’t less than or a different version of yourself to make the relationship work. No compromises.
Someone to go to war with - to build your empire with, not sit there and look pretty.
Divorce rates for couples who started a business and made a dollar together is 10%. Leverage that. Shared mission.
If you want to stay in the relationship - there have to be more reasons to stay with the person vs not.
If you have to worry about the exit, you shouldn’t be with them.
The life you want is on the other side of a few hard conversations.
Leila came through when he needed her. She did not wilt.
Luck is being in a situation with better odds of a better outcome.
Single greatest decison is partner.
Co-workers matter more than friends - you will spend more time with them
The relationship you have with your SO has a 0.71 correlation with your overall subjective well-being.
mission - where do you want to go? values - how you get there interest - you do along the way
you can create chemistry - space.
physical space, being able to switch hats. For example - at home: feminine and playful and funny. At work no.
With roof - your man pushing vs loving. Again work vs home.
At home very funny and light hearted and playful and fuck with each other.
If you don’t agree, don’t move forward. No vetos. Keep solving for it. Both us are aligned in the mission. Just difference in how to get there. That helps with disagreements.
Avoid discussion when there is emotional charge.
Much better at text communication. Type it out.
When he is angry she just puts the relationship hat on - more fun and feminine and he can’t help but smile.
Just hug her. You can feel this way. I will stay with you and hold you until whenever you need me to. It is totally dine and normal.
Alex knows 11 months and six days later after the first date. Yeah. That.
Involve your wife only if she is the best person for the job. Merit first.
They did not even think about splitting up.
He asked her to sign a prenup. She said yes. It was effortless. He threw it away. Use that as a test.
If only chemisty and not rational, don’t sdo it. I don’t need emo drama distracting me from going pro.
They went to courses and workshops for divorced and at risk marriages. They learned a lot. Do this.
Learn how men and women are different. Treat them how they want to be treated. Learn their coping mechanism. Learn to take the walls down with them.
Learn to communicate. Probably miscommunication. Did you intend to mean this when you said that? When you say that this is what I hear.
How do you she is the one? Look at your stats. Is your business growing? MTB? Physique? mental health? Are you a better Ilyaas because you are with her? Hold her to a higher standard, don’t cause your partner to be complacent.
It has to be a voluntary relationship. You have to choose her despite your better options over time and vice versa.
Don’t be her friend because they want to fuck you. Would hang out if she is married. You know the answer to this. If not, you want her. End it if she does not feel the same way. Don’t be a beta male orbiter.
Don’t be a guy friend. Here are my intentions with you. They are not pure in nature. I want to be with you. “I don’t see you that way.” “Cool. Not tryna be friends.” Not friend material.
When they get married, all relationship noise dissappeared. They got their attention back.
“If you don’t have values you lead your life by, you need rules” - Leila Hormozi. This applies to smartphone and social media.
If you agree on something, as insane as it may sound to others, it is okay. As long as you are on the same page. As long as there is no discrepency.
Are you free rn. Sure Are you free rn? I am writing this book chapter. Will need another 4 hours. Cool just going for a walk.
Don’t compare you relationships with others. Very different people. Don’t compare to other people.
“That’s so unhealthy” Yeah okay, sure.
Absolutely not comparing to others. You are not married to me. She is.
You don’t complete each other. You should be good at being alone. 2 wholes together with sum that is greater. Not 2 halves to form one whole.
Inter-dependent not co-dependent. Choose to depend.
Read awaken the giant within. do the relationship exercise.
One character trait you could choose in a partner - low expectations.
Low expectations and shared values leading to true north of mission.
If you don’t need her, it gives you space to experiment.
not fix the relationship, manage the things, tweak it.
conversation - disagreement:
present conjecture/idea
here is why I don’t support the idea
space
play on repeat. If the shit is irreconcilable, don’t do it.
strategy is how you allocate limited resources in unlimited options.
the question you ask yourself everyday changes your worldview. Your self measuting stick.
I would like to die with nothing left to give.
25 to 50 thousand per hour. Bro. Reach that.
Quality of a model - predicts outcome and works in multiple areas, again and again.
Wake up without an alarm. Try that. No alarm wake ups.
Only speak on stages where you are willing to be associated with the other speakers and the brand of the event. Accept only if it builds your brands.
AI replace content creators?
Things take longer to happen than you think and faster than you can imagine.
3 distortions of reality that lead to unhappiness:
circumstance/universe - my circumstance must change other people - they must comply with my request avoidance - not being accountable for your actions
You don’t deserve it. You prefer it. You don’t deserve anything. You just are. Period.
Podcast on Youtube is here