2022-11-14
Shed them.The problem - they keep retelling the old narrative. Probably why I don’t have desire to meet Boisar anymore. Arya and Vihaan do a great job of keeping up to date with my growth and not retelling the old untruths.
If you are not willing to sacrifice to keep the relationship, how much do you love them?
Your behavior is punished or re-inforced. that is it - keep this is mind with parenting. Ties in with Dan Bilzerian’s don’t reward bad behavior with attention. and Hamza’s “manipulation tactic” - don’t respond to bad behavior/ take attention away - positive intermittent reinforcement
They/boisar will be better served when I leave and they have space for people more like them. Instead of the mood off when I leave when they have alcohol, they can enjoy alcohol, even have someone encourage that behavior.
You want your friends to encourage you to get to where you want to go - essentially, live in the future, not retell the same old stories of when you fucked up. New ones where you’re more of what you want to be.
“I am no longer this way”. “I am no longer the quiet awkward kid”. “I am no longer your little brother. I am a viable sexual candidate. I will lay claim to those lips”
Don’t give more than you’re willing to give. This ties in Jordan Peterson’s concept of don’t tolerate the intolerable.
Be selfish, be bad.
If you want to fizzle a relationship, slowly reduce conversation and it will fizzle out over time. Be kind by telling the truth. Tell her the things you say behind her back or want to say behind her back. “You’re drinking/partying/chilling way too much. I don’t know if I want to associate with that right now.”
“Hey, you work a lot.” “You don’t”
“You don’t drink/vape/smoke” “You do”
to make friends, join communities - MTB worked well. Now try hamza’s cult and SI India discord for meetups
“volume is the answer and time is the ingredient”
“to live a rare life I have to be surrounded by rare people”
How much of my mission will I sacrifice to maintain my relationship with X?